You need a support group to recover from separation or divorce.
It can take 2-3 years or more to recover from divorce. You need to create a new identity, discovering who you are as a single person, finding a sense of belonging in your community, finding or consolidating social networks, and adjusting to single parenthood. Disorientation can last a long time, and the process of finding your footing is not linear. There are days when you feel grounded and secure. Then a trigger can lead to a fresh wave of grief, anger and confusion. If you have kids, you have to re-learn how to deal with your ex, shifting communication styles, becoming more formal and distant. It may be hard to create new boundaries with your ex. The fighting may continue, or one of you may need more distance while the other does not. While the emotional upheaval is at it's worst, you may be dealing with lawyers and court appearances. This just adds to feelings of frustration, fear and vulnerability. Having group support makes a huge difference.
I offer a weekly Separation/Divorce Support Group in Berkeley and San Francisco. The groups supports people going through this difficult time.
If you find yourself in the situation that your relationship has ended. You either have planned to leave because the relationship has fallen apart or your partner just up and left and it seems there's no negotiating working on the relationship. You can get support in a Separation/Divorce Support Group.
Many people describe they can't talk to their friends and family about the problems in their relationship. They feel isolated, lonely and like a failure. They are fearful of what the future holds for them. Working through a divorce process with a lawyer can be scary and uncertain. That the marriage amounted to nothing and trying to sort through what caused the end, why they didn't see it coming or feeling bad about not reading the warning signs seriously are normal comments expressed in the group.
If you are the one who left the relationship, you may be feeling guilty or responsible. The group can become a safe place to share these feelings without fear of judgment. You can learn to forgive yourself and in that process, discover how to move on.
If you were left, you may need a place to share your hurt and anger about your spouse. It can be too hard to talk about the rejection, resentment, or loneliness with people you know. You may be embarrassed that this has happened to you. It's such a relief to talk with others who've gone through the same thing.
Our group discussions focus on the following:
- Coping with a relocation
- Understanding your eratic emotions
- Helping your children
- Dealing with loss and grief
- Managing changing relationships
- Facing financial challenges
- Achieving the optimal co-parenting arrangement
- Negotiating a new relationship with your ex
- Moving on to new relationships
- Dealing with the unknowns of the court system
- Managing fears about the future
- Trying to find completion
- Moving toward your future
- Being present to it all
Facilitated discussion and sharing of experience within the group will help you gain insight, acceptance and self-awareness.
Logistics San Francisco:
Divorce Support Groups are beginning again January 20th
Every Tuesday Evening from 5:30-7 PM
12 week commitment
Each session is $75
Co-facilitated by Susan Regan, MFT and Mark Perlmutter, JD, MA
For Mark's bio click here
If you would like to learn more about how you can begin therapy, or have any questions please call 415-563-4342 or 510-883-9312, or email me directly at email@example.com.
Susan Regan, MFT has offices in Berkeley near El Cerrito and Oakland and in San Francisco, close to the Civic Center and Nob Hill. 415-563-4342 or 510-883-9312.
*Quotes are typical of what clients say, though to protect confidentiality, I have not used names or exact words.
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